The Logistics of Not Giving Up

As a co-director of a non-profit, co-owner of a flower farm, and a member of the sandwich generation (the generation where you’re taking care of both your children and your parents) I’m always a little overwhelmed. On days like this particular Monday, I wonder if maybe I should just skip class.  I run through the list of tasks in my brain: work deadlines, kids’ music class, meetings, visiting my Dad, cleaning out the garden, and I quickly realize if I don’t go today, I’ll have to wait another week to get to class.  And I know I’m not going to voluntarily skip a whole week. So, I go anyway, even though I am a little late, a little disheveled, a little out of sorts.  

I often wonder what life would have been like if I had taken up boxing or martial arts when I was young. I see so many young people training, and I admire their dedication. I wonder how I would have shown up back when I was twenty-two and only had to worry about myself and my own schedule. Back when my work meant clocking in and clocking out rather than solving organizational problems and managing projects at all hours of the day. Or back when I only had to make myself dinner, which could easily be a peanut butter sandwich I threw together at 9:00 PM. As a middle-aged adult, sometimes the effort it takes to carve out this time for myself to keep boxing—and the boundaries I have to set to get there each week—feels too difficult. And sometimes I feel like I should give up. “Why am I boxing in middle age anyway?” I ask myself.  

 But I’d like to offer a reframe of this story. As a mother, and an organizational director, I want to normalize the logistical challenges of being middle aged and committed to a sport, especially a sport that has set class times and requires getting to a set location each week. It’s not easy to juggle the complexities, and sometimes it can feel impossible. But if you’re willing to do it imperfectly, it’s doable. In fact, I’d say that our age and life situation gives us middle aged people a certain orientation to training that builds a necessary tenacity.

Back in my younger days I didn't have that level of discipline or self-confidence, at least not the kind that comes from holding down multiple jobs, raising three kids and being a caregiver.  Those are skills that took me decades of adulthood failures and successes to learn. Those are the skills of self-confidence and dedication that come from learning the hard way that if I wait until a goal feels comfortable for me, I’ll likely be waiting for the rest of my life. And those are the skills of determination that come from knowing that no one else is going to make your path for you. As a middle-aged adult, I have learned that while I may not be able to dedicate as many hours as I’d like to be training, I can still dedicate some of my time. And that’s not the same as giving up. In fact, I’d argue it’s the exact opposite. For us middle aged people, it can often take a ton of logistical gymnastics just to show up. Every time we make the choice to keep going back, that’s a win.  
 

So, if you’re a middle-aged person trying to make this work, I see you. If you can juggle a weekly schedule of kid's activities, parent's responsibilities, and job obligations, you can learn a punching combo. And when you have to miss several classes due to your kids being sick or problems at work, the important thing is you come back when things settle down. That is the kind of tenacity and perseverance that make all the difference in combat sports. And us middle aged, caregiving, busy people…. we have that trait in droves.  

 Hope to see you on the mats.  

-Meredith Martin-Moats

To learn more about boxing classes offered at Forca Martial Arts in Russellville, contact us at 479.214.1245 or through our website at forcamma.com. Practices are currently held every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 5:30pm.